I'm sorry to be such a "Debbie-Downer" lately. I never meant for this blog to be a personal journal, but.....well, its my blog, and I can do what I want! It makes me feel a little better to be able to 'talk' (re: type) about what's going on right now, and anything that makes me feel better is a good thing right now. So, stick with me; I promise I won't be like this forever.
I had dreams all night. Right now, that is not a good thing; my dreams tend to be about him, and us, and doing normal day-to-day stuff. Needless to say, I wake up very sad because I realize it was all a dream, and there is no us anymore. Last night (in my dream) we were on vacation somewhere (maybe Colorado?), looking around at a rock shop with some cool jewelry. Just like in real life. And he was teasing me about picking out a ring...just like in real life. So when my alarm went off and I woke up, I was really sad. So I went back to sleep. Then I knew didn't think about the old us anymore, and dreamt about the new us. The us that isn't "us". I then dreamt that I had a text message on my phone this morning from him asking about an article I posted on Facebook (here; very funny, I actually laughed yesterday!). I was pleasantly surprised that he texted me, but also irritated because I knew that he hadn't changed his mind. Also, just like in real life. Except for the text message part - I'm pretty sure he won't be texting me today.
I'm going to try to go to the campus counseling center later today... I don't think I need an appointment. Or maybe I can make one. I don't want to give the impression that I'm weepy or I haven't eaten/showered/gotten out of bed in days... I'm not like that....for the most part (j/k). I'm just sad, and a little angry, like any person in my situation would be. I just want to use all of my available resources to get through this, and I think counseling can't possibly hurt anything.
Anyway, I should probably get a move on it. I want to get to school a few hours early so I can see the counselor, fix my makeup (after I cry it all off), and print some stuff before classes.